“Who are you to teach other mums to raise a positive child? Look at yourself, losing it often with your daughter, you should be walking your talk, don´t you think?”
Five years ago, I created a course for mums teaching them how to raise a child using positive communication techniques. My methods helped dozens of mums. Yet, in the privacy of our home, I was losing my temper when things slipped out of my control. It always started with the inner familiar voice.
It was so quiet that at first, I almost didn’t notice it. I was judging my abilities as a mother, worrying things might slip out of my control, constantly finding fault with myself and others. How can I weaken my self-doubt, I was wondering. It clearly doesn´t serve me.
The dangerous narrative keeps playing in the back of our minds
As a fairly confident person, it took me by surprise. I found out that behind every setback there is a narrative that keeps playing in the back of our minds.
All. The. Time.
Don´t expect it to be screaming at you – it appears as the automatic thought tendency whenever things don´t go smoothly.
In all my years of coaching and lecturing, I have never met anyone who was not significantly influenced by persistent self-doubt. Many of us were initially unaware of that fact. Once discovered, weakening self-doubt seemed like the best cure.
Self-doubt is our private enemy number one. It impacts our well-being, success, and happiness far more than any public enemy ever could.
Its power is tremendous because it can hide well and for some of us it might even become invisible.
Self-doubt has various faces – for some it feels like being stuck, unable to progress. For my friend, it occurs as pleasing others while draining her energy. It’s this invisible force that builds a wall between us and our dreams.
Thoughts of self-doubt are born in our survival brain
If we all know about it, why do we still listen to it? And more importantly, why do we trust it? Thoughts of self-doubt are born in our survival brain. This is the oldest part of your brain and its primal function is to protect us. Its automatic function has saved the lives of our ancestors and sometimes it still does. When a house is on fire there is no time for dwelling on what thoughts to choose, you need to act instantly.
Weaken your self-doubt – stop living on autopilot
Although nowadays the lion is not behind every corner, we use the same thought tendencies to lead our lives.
Don’t you want to substitute feeling stressed with thriving, ease & flow? Our survival brain is in the driver’s seat. Unless we learn how to take the power back, our lives will remain ruled by our autopilot.
It’s time to reveal the harsh truth: The voice of self-doubt will never vanish.
The science confirms that with the right practice it can diminish its volume. And what’s more important – once we know it will sneak out, we can prepare in advance.
How do you build rock-solid confidence and weaken self-doubt?
The magic hides inside our minds:
- Learn to spot the enemy: Recognize the harmful thought and stop right there.
- Label the thought – and undermine its power:
‘Hey, self-doubt, I was expecting to hear from you today, here you are.’
‘Oh, hello you, again!’ (Addressing self-doubt with a funny voice or giving it a suitable name helps big time!)
- Bring yourself to here & now:
Using your senses helps you stay in the present moment and turn off self-doubt. Stress, fear, and guilt live in our minds when our attention is either in the past or in the future, never in the present. Focus on one physical sensation or breath for at least 10 seconds.
- Ask yourself what would be a more suitable thought right now. Choose a different response when spotting doubtful thoughts. This practice creates new neuropathways which grow stronger with repetitions.
Building mental muscles with repetitions create sustainable results
As simple as this process sounds, it can be challenging to spot the thought and catch it. Turning off the autopilot takes practice. Building mental muscles with repetitions create sustainable results.
The same applies to a strong core: you don’t expect to have a six-pack and strong back muscles from reading about it, right?
Action step:
If you want to ditch the self-doubt once and for all and create rock-solid confidence, schedule a free discovery call with me today.
With all my love,
P.S.: Sometimes when our self-doubt screams “Later”, it becomes “Never”. Why wait? Book a free coaching session and start your empowering journey right now.